I never once thought I was intuitive, NOT ONCE, until I sought out the professional services of a well-known, much loved and deeply respected local Intuitive by the name of Susie.
During our sessions, Susie would often hold her head and say, “You are so dang intuitive it makes my head hurt.” I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. I wasn’t doing anything I would consider even remotely intuitive. I wasn’t giving readings, I wasn’t channeling information and I certainly wasn’t consciously following my intuition. Intuitive? Whaa?
I remember looking at her, shrugging my shoulders and saying, “But I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just being me.” I think I was waiting for a big revelation or some loud booming voice to say, “You’re intuitive! Go forth and intuit!”
I couldn’t figure out what Susie was seeing and why she believed so fiercely in my intuitive abilities. Well, no secret, it turns out she was right, I AM intuitive. In fact, so are you but we’ve covered that in a previous blog (Intuition).
In my quest for cultivating my intuitive abilities, I found some books that resonated with me. I went to Barnes and Noble, stood in the spiritual section and pulled out books that that resonated with me. Once I’d read them, I thought I would instantly feel like I was an Intuitive. Uh (head scratch), that didn’t happen either. Why wasn’t this working?!
I took up meditating to try and calm my mind. I lasted literally 5 seconds the first time I tried it. I kept telepathically saying, “Hello?! Anybody there? Wanna chat?” and got the big old goose egg in the way of a response. Yeah, uh uh. That’s totally not meditating.
I was very impatient (what me?!). I demanded answers of whomever and then became crabby when I couldn’t hear the responses. I was having trouble quieting my mind. I think I was just too analytical and logical back then. But, as they say, where there is a will, there is a way.
Eventually I was led to Reiki and it was through my training that my intuitive abilities really took off. Now Reiki is not the only reason I began to believe what Susie had been saying, not at all. It was but one piece of the puzzle. Other pieces were Susie saying, “Don’t worry if you don’t feel the energy right now. You will, at some point. Just keep practicing.” It was me connecting with yoga, embracing meditation, healing and letting go of my need for control.
I let outdated and preconceived ideas about what my gifts should be fade away. For instance, I read a lot of Sylvia Browne books and I felt like I had to ‘see’ my Spirit Guide(s). I was getting very frustrated because that wasn’t happening. James Van Praagh was having dead people pop in for a chat over waffles. Susie was channeling and talking about past lives. Me? Well not so much. Nothing so grandiose like that was happening and it was causing me to feel like a failure.
Once I let go of expecting to be like other veteran intuitives (Susie included), I found it easier to develop my own gifts. It realized that none of these people, Susie included, were an overnight success. They, too, had to work at nurturing their intuitive abilities. As Susie would often say, ”we (intuitives) all play in the same band; we just play a different instrument.”
As my Reiki training progressed and while I was just being me, my intuitive abilities grew. One of my favorite games to mentally play was imagining what people’s lives were like as I was people watching. I would make up (or would I? I ask with a raised eyebrow) stories about their lives knowing I would never know if it was my imagination or my intuition. The point is, I was playing and allowing my mind to be creative instead of being so black and white.
I practiced not only Reiki but my intuitive side on trusted and closest members of my family and besties. As time went on, I felt comfortable encompassing more members of my family and friends.
I found other like-minded people to practice on and I kept receiving such positive and glowing feedback that I started to honestly believe in myself. I learned I didn’t need to be touching someone or giving them Reiki in order for the intuitive information to flow. I started to trust the information was going to be there when I needed it. In essence, I trusted the Guys weren’t going to abandon me when I needed them.
It was at that point Susie, whom had become one of my closest and trusted besties, hosted a party at her house. She asked if I wanted to do intuitive readings on people. I wanted to say no but instead I said yes. To my surprise, people were clamoring (well, that’s how I remember it anyway) to have mini-readings by yours truly.
The response and residual feedback I received convinced me I could do this professionally. It wasn’t long after that I opened the doors of Inner Focus Reiki and began offering my own brand of Intuitive Reiki.
There’s so much more I could write more about my experiences but I think I’ll stop here and just continue to be me.